By Marriya Schwarz | Editor-in-Chief
Talent has never been this locally-based.
You may not know the name Matt Farley, and for that, I pity you, dear reader. But as Gandalf from J. R. R. Tolkien's acclaimed novel, The Hobbit, once said, “People don’t know true genius and haters gonna hate” (“Gandalf’s Chat with Taylor Swift,” FanFiction.net).
Farley broke into the music scene back in 2012 under the pseudonym, The Guy Who Sings About Cities And Towns. His breakout album was the critically acclaimed Texas City & Town Song Fun, Tx. This album gave the music world hits like, “Dallas, Texas. Such a Great Place!”, “Coffee City Has the Best Coffee in Texas, I Think”, and “Pearland Has Great Pears, or Does It?”. Within two weeks, Rolling Stones gave this debut album 6 rolling stones out of 7.
Since then, the Massachusetts native has created albums for 15 more states and has even traveled over lyrical international waters with albums about the UK, Canada, Australia, and France. Matt Farley has turned this into a full-time job, since he’s able to make around $4,000 a month on songs he has uploaded to Spotify and Apple Music.
His process is as eclectic as his songs; he looks at the 80 most heavily populated cities and towns for each state and then improvises the songs into a microphone while reading the Wikipedia page for each city or town. You could call him something of an expert in mainly local libraries and governments.
In 2014, Farley released his pièce de résistance, his The White Album (1968), his Kidz Bop Gold (2004): Virginia Is Good and Yes, Va (2014). And on this album, Farley included his tour de force, his “Bohemian Rhapsody” (1975), his Kidz Bop’s “Thank U, Next” (2019): “Williamsburg is Like Time Travel” (2014).
As a student at the College of William & Mary, I was particularly interested in how this song stacks up to the real Colonial Williamsburg:
Matt Farley starts off on the right track with an encouraging and resonating “Oh yeah Williamsburg, Virginia” which is what I say verbatim when I fill out my punch card at Aromas Cafe, Swemromas, or the Aromas Daily Grind.
Then, he sings “It’s like an old city livin’ in the new times,” which is true but totally off-put by the new Lululemon on Duke of Gloucester Street. I hear that George Washington was actually wearing their merchandise when he crossed the Delaware, but it just didn’t make it into the painting. This is yoga pants erasure.
A little later, he sings, “Look at the old buildings just like they were 200 years ago.” Well, actually, the oldest building in the area is the Sir Christopher Wren Building which dates back to 1695, making it 324 years ago. In the Colonial Williamsburg area, the Everard House clocks in at 301 years old. The Guy Who Sings About Cities and Towns more like The Guy Who Sings About LIES.
In the next verse, he leads with “What’s even more interesting are all the people / Who dress like they woke up when it was 1776”. I have overheard interpreters talk about Tinder hookups and National Novel Writing Month. In fact, one day, I heard one woman explaining to her other bonnet-wearing-pal that her Volvo broke down on the way to work. Now, I did middle school theatre so I can tell when a fellow actór is struggling, and I immediately came to her aid.
“Volvo is her horse,” I assured two guests from New Zealand who were just trying to pet a nearby dog, but were accosted by this William & Mary student with crazy eyes, bent on maintaining the ‘colonial image’.
The interpreter gave me a side glance.
“No, it’s my car, you idiot.”
Don’t let the ghost of Thomas Jefferson see you cry, I thought to myself as I narrowly dodged horse poop on my speedy getaway. I could hear the New Zealandees laugh. It echoes in my ears. Even today. Even now.
And finally, Matt Farley finishes the song with “Williamsburg is a heck of a city / It’s a very nice place and it’s great and yeah”, which is a nice sentiment completely undermined by the sheer existence of Sodexo.
So, is The Guy Who Sings About Cities and Towns’ “Williamsburg is Like Time Travel” an accurate portrayal of Williamsburg, Virginia? Of course not. But sometimes, it’s just nice to be seen.
I leave you, dear reader, with two haunting lines from the song; may you carry them with you and recall them whenever you see a brick: “La la la / Williamsburg, Virginia.” Let’s just say there’s a reason Rolling Stones awarded the song 12 rolling stones out of 3.
(See the published issue for humorous footnotes)