By Marriya Schwarz | Editor-in-Chief
With my family’s newest subscription to Disney+, I had the honor of celebrating March by reexperiencing old Disney Channel original movies. One of these was—and film experts, feel free to correct me—the original inspiration of Martin Scorsese’s 2019 film, The Irishman. That’s right; I’m talking about the DCOM 2001 feature film, The Luck of the Irish, starring legendary and almost exclusively Disney actor (save for Pretty Little Liars), Ryan Merriman, and King Richard from Galavant as a crazy leprechaun who travels via RV. The film takes us on a stereotyped adventure of Kyle Johnson (Ryan Merriman), who is half-Leprechaun, fighting to get the luck of the clan of O’Reilly back.
This movie is a lot, especially for 2001. It tackles some pretty serious subjects, like intermarriage and a young man coming to terms with the fact that he comes from a heritage that has historically faced oppression time and time again. Now, when I think of these things, my mind automatically does not go to choosing a main character who is a white half-Irish teen whose only personality traits are that he is lucky and plays basketball. Literally, the film starts out with a montage of the school’s “Heritage Day” where a student is doing a Native American dance. But no—we focus on Kyle Johnson. With the intermarriage element, Kyle’s mother has married someone that her family and her culture does not approve of, leaving her estranged from her own father. Instead of choosing an actual ‘intermarriage’ situation, the film decides to show the trials and tribulations of a mixed relationship through a white American marrying a Leprechaun (who are referred to as “The Little People” throughout the film.”)
At the beginning of the movie, we meet Kyle Johnson, a basketball star who must give everyone ‘bro fives’ (not very social distancing of you, Kyle). He is the coolest kid in a school that looks conveniently like the school featured in Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-off. I’m officially putting out a new theory that these DCOM movies are all in one cinematic universe until they all come together in one final grand finale where Thanos takes half of them out, only leaving Twitches and Cadet Kelly. Kyle is the embodiment of white privilege. He has never had an unlucky day in his life; even when he hasn’t studied for a test in history, he can just guess the right answers (which is probably why he’s a freaking idiot). This super white boy asked his two white parents if he’s an “Indian.” Things change radically for Kyle when he learns that the school is holding a “Heritage Day” and so Kyle, who brings us quotes about how history is “so ten minutes ago” while sports are “happening now”, decides he wants to know what his heritage is. Upon asking his parents, they get incredibly suspicious—almost creepily secretive about it, as if the actors had gotten callbacks for The Truman Show three years prior and wanted to show the casting directors what they were missing out on. Don’t believe me? The mother (Marita Geraghty) serves the family pasta from some weirdly lettuce-lined bowl, and then calls it a salad. Suspicious.
Mr. Johnson (Paul Kiernan) is no better. He keeps telling Kyle that they are from ‘here.’ Then, he relents to tell him that they are from Cleveland; his dad is most definitely a fed. He changed his name and hid all of his documents, and I’m pretty sure he set up this whole ‘leprechaun’ thing to distract Kyle from discovering his real life. It worked, of course, because, as previously stated, Kyle is an idiot. I mean, the kid saw a sign for a dancer, named Seamus McTiernan, and asked if that was a Chinese name.
Eventually, Kyle finds out that he’s Irish, mainly because he goes to a big Irish carnival and he can’t help but step dance (sorry, 23andMe, but The Luck of the Irish did it better and with more flair). When Kyle’s mother finally tells him the truth, she says that she was protecting him from “the way it was when the Irish first came to America. From the jokes and the dirty jobs nobody else would take, and the signs in the shop windows saying, ‘No Irish need apply.’” The Irish in the film do not feel like they can trust the police and one of the big worries towards the end is that the grandfather will be ‘enslaved’ by the evil Seamus (Timothy Omundson). I am not trying to minimize the history of the Irish in America, but can I just point out that Kyle’s best friend, Russell (Glenndon Chatman), is African American? Later, it’s stated that “when the Irish came to America, things were tough. And they had to work at jobs other people wouldn’t take, and they didn’t get paid what they deserved.” Russell replies with “Well, at least they got paid.” And then the movie just moves on.
When Seamus steals Kyle’s lucky coin, the family goes back to Leprechaun-form with the mother shrinking, the grandfather growing a beard, and Kyle getting a bad dye job that looks like he’s in NSYNC. Throughout this adventure to get the luck back, there are loads of Irish stereotypes, like the fact that the grandfather’s name is genuinely Reilly O’Reilly and he runs a potato chip factory. Literally, the villains of the movie fight with corned beef and cabbage as a weapon.
There is also a ton of pro-America-first rhetoric that makes it feel like a kid-friendly Trump rally. Over and over again, we hear that “Americans don’t give up,” “We’re Americans. That’s the only heritage we need,” and “Aren’t we all lucky to be living in so grand a country where anything is possible?” (See previous comment about Kyle’s best friend being African American). Heck, even Kyle’s team is called the “Soaring Eagles.” They really weren’t going for subtlety in the writer’s room.
I think we can all agree that Kyle’s step/break dancing is super cringey and Mr. Johnson most definitely kills people for a living, but it’s a decent movie. If you’re looking for something to do during this pandemic, pop open a yogurt and grab a fruit bar—or, for the adventurous, dig into some crubeens and colcannon—and rewatch The Luck of the Irish: No – Where Are You Really From? Trust me; it’s crazy. It might have you asking questions like “Hey is no one noticing that an elderly man is chained to the backboard of a basketball net on the final big game of the season?” but that’s just part of the fun.
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