By Karl Palenkas | Staff Writer
You, yes you. I’m mad at you. You’re currently thinking, “Hmm, I don’t know who Ryan Beatty is, I guess this article will tell me”. Well, it will, but I’m disappointed in you. Worst of all, you probably already know who Ryan Beatty is, you just don’t know it’s him. Remember early 2010’s era Radio Disney? Do you remember songs like “Hey L.A.” or “Every Little Thing” coming on? If those don’t ring a bell, do you listen to Brockhampton? More specifically, don't you love the chorus of their songs like “Sugar” and “Bleach”? Yep, all the above are Ryan Beatty. But I’m here to tell you Ryan is no longer that Radio Disney kid; he’s got his own career outside of unofficial Brockhampton membership. His artistry has been reborn into the real and authentic Ryan. It’s gay, beautiful, real… what more could you want? In celebration of his recently released second album Dreaming of David, the follow-up to 2018’s debut Boy in Jeans, here’s a few of my favorite songs of his, and which album you’ll find them on. Maybe after this, I’ll forgive you.
In the End // Dreaming of David
This is my all-time favorite of his. Dreaming of David’s opener has a power to it I’m struggling to put into words. Though on the shorter side, the emotions painted are breathtaking. “In the End” tells a story of unsatisfying closure. Ryan kicks off this album by describing the feelings of being lost and confused post-breakup. He looks for affection in any and every way he can, as seen in lines such as, “Pull out the webcam, show off my body, and I want some touch from someone I don’t know, Throw another dollar at a bodybuilder, on me. He’s on me”. At the end of the day, his true desire still lies with that of his love lost: “Only time I find slumber, when it is you I am under.” The production both vocally and instrumentally is flawless, manifesting themselves into one of those special songs that feels like a warm hug and a whispered, “I know how you’re feeling, everything’s going to be okay” whenever you feel like love’s sent you down a dead-end path. That’s the best feeling music can give you, and this song does it.
In the end, I believe in something I can’t see
Cupid // Boy in Jeans
“Pitch black, I'm on the opposite side of the fence. Sneaking out for a kiss, yeah, just to tell you I like you. There ain't nobody like you”. This song is so quotable, I had to put one in the start too. “Cupid” is my favorite song from Boy in Jeans because the level of meaning this song produces for me is off the charts. Ryan uses the bare minimum in production, a soft beat consisting of never more than a few resonating chords. His tone feels rambly and feels as if he’s letting his subconscious do the talking… it’s GORGEOUS. Its meaning hits home for many queer kids: closeted romance. It’s a poignant scene of Ryan fumbling his way through his feelings for his closeted lover, assuring him it's ok to “open up your heart for a minute” and see the freedom he can have to no longer pretend “like with your girlfriend”. It’s an all too familiar scenario that I’ll leave for Ryan to describe for you because he captures that essence perfectly with this absolute 10/10.
Date me, I'm just playing
Didn't mean to say that
Sometimes kids say the dumbest things
But if you're down, so am I
I can't lie
Patchwork // Dreaming of David
Anxiety but make it a song. Dreaming of David’s second single, this slow-rolling vibe sees Ryan wrestling with the pressures of falling for a guy who won’t commit. Remember that time you started seeing that guy, and you both were totally into each other, but he never let you know how he was feeling? Ever? And every time you told yourself you deserve a man who gave you 100%, he’d hit you with that “u up?” text and you’d fall back to square one? I’m still mad at you so if I have to feel these feels, so do you. This song is the melodic embodiment of that experience. Ryan makes use of a multitude of vocal modifications on this song which give it that feeling of all the different voices in your head debating the “will he, won’t he” and its accompanying feelings of isolation and social anxiety. In Ryan’s case, it doesn’t help to be a public figure that can’t escape the presence of its gaze. From its pumpy bass lines leading it off to his fixation on a group of men he claims are watching him break loose to some disco music on the club floor- Ryan intertwines the fabrics of his anxiety and his less-than-recommendable methods of coping into something beautiful, like a PATCHWORK quilt if you may.
This is not my last masterpiece, I am Michelangelo
Haircut // Boy in Jeans
If ever a song was a gay awakening, it’s this one. “Haircut,” serves as the first track on Ryan’s first album, so essentially it’s both the introduction to it and to the new Ryan Beatty. It’s a song that feels like the start of an era, not just a song that’s first on the tracklist. The change one undergoes when they get a haircut and the authentic expression it brings is the base of the metaphor of the change undergone by Ryan and his artistry. He’s no longer that Radio Disney teen pop sensation: he’s free from the closet, he’s making the music he’s always wanted to make, and he’s finally free to be Ryan Beatty. “Haircut,” is here to let you know that, as he says on the chorus, “It starts right now!”.
Oh I could never ever, ever, ever lose it, no
It's all I ever, ever, ever, ever wanted, oh woah
Casino // Dreaming of David
I’m crying, you’re crying, we’re all crying. The third single from Dreaming of David, “Casino” is a shout from the darkness of the instability of love. It's about frustration, pain, and sadness. In that vein it’s about accepting that hurt, putting up walls, and suppressing the weight of it all (I never said it was healthy.) The instrumental consists of little else but a soft guitar medley reminiscent of Troye Sivan’s “The Good Side.” It all feels so organic, and when Ryan throws down the walls and releases his suppressed pain on the chorus in a resounding cry of “Love me to death or don’t give me anything!”, oh my GOD does it hit. It’s the anthem of pretending everything is fine when it really isn’t; when he sings “Hood on, hand in my pocket, walk away” it really hits a feeling we’ve all felt before, or maybe it’s one we feel now. Either way, “Casino” is a gem and I highly recommend it the next time you end up thinking about that guy I mentioned in my review of “Patchwork”. No, I’m fine, I promise.
I even thought I couldn't be sadder than that
I am
Camo // Boy in Jeans
There really is something to be said about songs that can capture the feelings of self-reflection as Ryan does here. “Camo” details deep reflection on his life and the depression he’s dealt with. His entire being becomes questioned, with focus revolving around his uncertainty about who he even is. Still, he manages to brush off the dust and chalk it up to “that’s life”. It’s one of his most upbeat songs too, furthering this camo print metaphor, hiding the sad reality behind a fun and poppy beat, because that’s all that matters right?
Camo print depression
I keep my feelings hidden
No pills, no thrills
I'm not used to winning
But that's life, that's life
Dark Circles // Dreaming of David
I struggled endlessly debating whether to put the original version of this song here or to put “Dark Circles, A Performance” because they both are sonical stunners. Yeah, that’s right, this song is so strongly that bitch that it got a whole alternate version, but more on that in a moment. “Dark Circles” the lead single from Dreaming of David, is another one of Ryan’s more upbeat songs. Impeccable in its production, Ryan’s vocals are pitched up the entire duration of the song. There are few artists that can utilize stacked harmonies of shifted vocals and combine them with such a fresh arrangement of synths with a touch of drum and bass flair without sounding cheesy or like a Frank Ocean wannabe. Ryan uses “Dark Circles” to turn his inability to move under the weight of the feelings he still has for a past ex into pure freedom in the form of a dance track to lose yourself in the rhythm of. The alternate, “Dark Circles, A Performance”, features a much more stripped-down instrumental with slower, less edited vocals in what now becomes a far more raw and intimate experience. Absolutely be sure to listen to both versions of this one, they complement each other immensely.
I don't have the bones to be free
I believe in love when he
Confesses himself inside me
Powerslide // Boy in Jeans
Imagine Danny and Sandy’s summer fling from Grease, now set it in a Californian suburb and make it a little less PG and make it gay. That sums up the vibe of “Powerslide” to a T. This carefree summer jam is the feelgood gay vibes the world needs. From getting handjobs in the neighbors’ pool to skateboarding around until the cops come, Ryan and his man are living the kind of gay 90’s teen romance we all strive for. A break from the heavier topics found within his other songs, “Powerslide” is Ryan’s reflection on the here and now, and of a time that feels perfect, like skateboarding down the street or spending time with your partner. The plucky bass guitar and chill drum kit vibe with this in an almost nostalgic way before crescendoing in the end to a chorus of added in violins. This one's way up there on my favorites list.
Now we’re powersliding 'til we can both pass out
You got the TV on with the volume down
For colors in the background
Flowers at the Door // Dreaming of David
Don’t let the cutesy title fool you, this melodic piece is all about giving your man head and wanting him to turn you around and take you right there on the hardwood floor. “Flowers at the Door” is a beautifully crafted piece filled with all sorts of artsy sexual innuendos over an airy piano that echoes masterfully alongside Ryan’s desire for physical affection. The chorus sensually sees Ryan asking, “Why don’t you turn me around?” before beautifully transitioning into the bridge that focuses on the piano. The song climaxes and ends with an angelic choir of vocal riffing from Ryan; it’s truly a heavenly experience. If you’re looking for a song that makes you feel like you’re lying on a cloud as those little angel babies shower you in rose petals in slow motion, all while you’re incredibly horny- I recommend starting with this one.
Our heads connected, I got the message
You had your hands around my skull
Gave into ashes, passed up the acid
I look up to you when I'm below
Party’s Over // Boy in Jeans
This one. THIS ONE. If you only listen to one song from this review, it has to be this one. “Party’s Over” hits like a truck, and it will hurt a lot. We’ve all been here, love at first sight, that moment when someone walks into the room and immediately you just feel something. The slow spiraling from that first moment into madness and desperation is the center of one of the most personally-hitting songs I’ve ever listened to. Every production aspect, from the orchestral violins and piano chords to the lyrical journey we take, feels cinematic. Ryan sets the song in a club, just after the moment his breath was taken by a guy who just walked in. As it progresses, he finds himself pinning away at this guy, recruiting random club goers to join him as an excuse to talk to this “superstar.” His desperation grows to a proposition of “We could be friends. We could be more than friends if you want to” before ending with a cry of how necessary this guy has become to him. Unrequited feelings hurt, and for me, this song helps immensely when I have them. So, the next time you’re losing your fucking mind over the guy from my “Patchwork” and “Casino” reviews, take a late-night stroll and listen to this one. Also, watch the music video for it!
I don't wanna leave without you
Couldn't see my life without you in it
I'd probably lose my fucking mind
Backseat // Dreaming of David
After pondering it over for a while, I realized I couldn’t write any words to give this one justice. “Backseat” is hopeful and pure, and feels intimate in a raw way. The acoustic dreamscape of this one is about opening up and having someone to lean on. I really can’t tell you anything more other than to give it a listen- you’ll understand.
I like it when I hear you breathin' (Oh)
Reminds me that I'm not alone