By Brooke Rees | Staff Writer
Okay, I finally gave in. I made the damn banana bread. It was either this or start learning TikTok dances, and I’m just not that coordinated.
If you hadn’t noticed, making banana bread has become the go-to quarantine baking adventure. 20-somethings dressed in tie-dye sweat suits have been plastering images of their banana bread creations across YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook. To quote the great Gwen Stefani, “this sh*t is bananas.”
First, let me be very clear. In my mind, banana bread does not deserve to be called bread. It’s not a gorgeous, long and slender baguette or a tangy bouncy sourdough. Where is the yeast? Where are the bubbles? I guess “technically”, banana bread is a variety of quick breads which does not rely on yeast as a leavening agent, but that just sounds boring. Who wants a quickie when you could wait two days for the real thing? Probably most men. In short, banana bread has some branding issues. I propose we face the facts for what it actually is: cake. But it’s a cake you can eat for breakfast with almost no judgement. Banana breakfast cake. Now doesn’t that sound more appealing?
Semantics aside, I made my first banana bread from this recipe, and added a few Brooke flares. Aka, I added some walnuts to the top before placing it in the oven. It was moist and banana-y. It was delicious. But I couldn’t help thinking...is there something more out there?
Then, out of the blue, my friend texted me “which do you like better, pumpkin bread or banana bread?” There it was. The essential question I hadn’t dared to ask but I knew was deep in my heart. I wasn’t sure. I had only experienced pumpkin rolls filled with cream cheese frosting. Controversial, but I’m not a fan. Leave my cream cheese for bagels please. That aside, why was banana grabbing all of the (actually cake) quick bread attention? We’re we making the wrong quarantine snack? I went on a mission to find out.
I used this pumpkin bread recipe because it had super high ratings. Now I must confess, I think I undercooked my loaf a little. Our oven temperature seems to be dwindling; I think I’ve been a little rough on it these past few months. That aside, this loaf was delicious! It was moist, and the spices were just so much more complex than the one-note banana bread. Dare I say... a better bread? Then, one day, a package arrived at my doorstep. My friend who had posed the existential bread question had sent me a loaf of her favorite pumpkin bread! First of all, boy do I choose good friends. I’m currently looking to become best friends with a masseuse or a defense attorney. I feel both will come in handy one day. Let me tell you, this pumpkin bread was astounding. If I could eat this bread every day, I would never look at another banana again. There was a clear winner. But then I thought...can we lean even heavier on the fall spices? Could gingerbread top them all?
I forced my mom to buy some molasses (she was going to the store anyway!) and headed to the kitchen once more. I followed this recipe and 60 minutes later pulled out the deep brown squares. It smelled like Christmas, which I much prefer to the 91 degrees 90 percent humidity I’m currently suffering through. The powdered sugar on top was a game changer, but it couldn’t quite beat out that second pumpkin bread.
Final results: Okay, it’s a little tricky but I think overall pumpkin bread is the clear winner. However, I must say that if you’re in the baking biz just to lick the batter bowl (which I confess is about 87 percent of my motivation for baking) then banana bread is the way to go. That straight from the can pumpkin needs time in the oven before it shines. Now that I’ve done the hard scientific research for you, get out there and make some fake breads! Do not settle for the lies the media tells you.