By Matthew Hauser | Staff Writer
Society, the act is up. We’ve all been collectively saying that we hate Nickelback, that they’re a bad band, and that we never liked them. The Telegraph called Nickelback “The world’s most hated band.” The BBC reported that “Australian police once tweeted out a warning regarding Nickelback, accusing them of ‘music crimes.’” Culture websites ranging for NPR to Bustle have explored why people supposedly hate Nickelback so much.
I will even concede that some of the hate is real, if only because of social pressure. I have made jokes at Nickelback’s expense, even when I did not introspect to understand the supposed hate. Once looking inside, I did not find any special antipathy towards the band and their music within myself. The hate you may currently feel towards Nickelback is quite possibly real, but it is a product of society cramming this idea down our throats. Once the charade is dropped you’ll no longer feel compelled to performatively groan when you hear the opening bars of “Photograph.”
You might ask, “While I trust all of your assertions with no need for sources or evidence 100% of the time because you are such a great and good looking author, how do you know it is a charade?” Well, I am flattered by your trust, but I can delve into substance to back my claims, if I must.
Back in the distant world of the 2000s, where things were so different, Nickelback was ranked by Billboard as the number one rock group of the decade, being the seventh top artist across all genres. The 2000s were a wildly distant time from now, where in 2020 we are experiencing an unprecedented economic calamity, unrest in the Middle East, disappointing Star Wars movies, and the rapid spread of technology in our daily lives- the 2000s were definitely not like that. Perhaps Nickelback left a bad taste in our mouths, and has not stood the test of time.
So let us examine how Nickelback is doing currently, through the most scientific method out there- YouTube views and likes. Let’s take the song “Rockstar,” for example. The music video depicts various celebrities, models, and random people lip syncing to the lyrics across the world, including shots from London, Chicago, and Berlin. The video’s statistics are as follows:
Ok- there has to be a reasonable explanation for this. Maybe people were confused that the video was published by Roadrunner Records, instead of the Nickelback channel and therefore did not know they were supposed to hate it? Let’s look at the video from the official account, to see if that is the case:
Ok- this one has fewer views… but the like to dislike ratio is almost exactly the same- it even looks a tiny bit better. By the view count, you people are clearly listening to Nickelback quite a bit. That makes sense- me and my friends would always sit around listening to Nickelback, adding in how much we hate it, but still we gotta listen to some more, oh boy we do hate hearing Rockstar for the fourth time this week ahahaha.
The arguments against Nickelback are getting ridiculous.
Clearly you guys like the band and are listening to their songs and liking them on YouTube. Don’t be a lemming, pretending to hate the top rock band of the 2000s. If you still think you might hate Nickelback after reading this article- don’t listen to them- that might disprove my argument. Just know that I am right. So, instead of everyone having to secretly listen to “How You Remind Me” while ostensibly hating the band, let’s drop the act, end this massive societal doublethink, and save ourselves a lot of trouble.
Comments